every mass shooting incident is traumatizing for the victims,
the survivors and the community it happened in. But
you probably know and feel that you don't need to
be nearby to be emotionally affected as well joining us
now to discuss is amy more and editor in chief
of very well mind and licensed psychotherapist. Amy welcome
to the show of course this latest shooting in Texas
is especially shocking. 19 innocent babies were lost elementary
school students. Many americans americans across the country share
the pain of the families who are now going through
this unconceivable grief. Can you talk to us about
how mass shootings impact us as a society and how
to deal with the trauma that now comes with it
? It certainly leaves us feeling with lots of emotions
, uncertainty about the future, fear concerned for our
loved ones. So it's really important to honor those
emotions. Just taking a moment to think how do
I feel about this, putting a name to your
feelings can go a long way toward helping you feel
better and then to figure out how are you going
to cope with it? We all need healthy coping
strategies, whether that's that we're going to talk to
loved ones that we're going to get some exercise that
we're going to go out and do things to really
take care of our minds and our bodies during these
tough times. You know, I was one of
the first reporters in Newtown in 2012 then I was
in Parkland florida for the following shooting. And what
I remember is this feeling of hopelessness and anger,
not just in these communities, but for americans because
we have that feeling that nothing will change. How
do you address that feeling? Because there is a
possibility we might see something like this in our country
again. How do you address that? So I
think it's hard for us to talk to each other
about our concerns, to have somebody that you can
open up to and say this is what I'm going
through right now. But you know that we can
take some kind of action, we always feel better
when we are doing something. So whether that be
that you donate to a cause that you believe in
whether you join some sort of a movement, it
might be sending cards to loved ones, but doing
something kind for other people and feeling like you are
part of the solution rather than just sitting back will
make you feel a lot better. Even though you
can't necessarily prevent the next big thing from happening,
you can take steps to make the world a little
bit of a better place. Oh, I think
that's such great advice besides the parents and I saw
this both in Newtown and in Parkland, a lot
of kids were afraid to go back in the classroom
, especially for an elementary school where they can't quite
grasp what happened. Do you have any advice for
students and parents when it comes to going back to
the classroom, I think it's important for them to
have a plan of, what are you going to
do, who you gonna talk to? Maybe it's
just at lunchtime, I'm going to meet up with
my friends and have a conversation or I'm gonna call
home during the day if I can or I'm going
to check in with my teacher just making sure that
you know what the plan is for tomorrow, I'm
sure there are tons of kids who are filled with
dread and fear tomorrow. Just knowing that you have
a couple of things on the agenda can help and
for all of us to be having conversations for students
to know that they can talk to their friends,
they can talk to their teachers and hopefully that they
can talk to mom and dad about the emotions that
they're going through on the other side. How do
parents, caretakers talk to their kids about this?
And I do want to pose a question to you
amy do you think it's a parent's job to instruct
their child on how to protect themselves in case of
the shooting? I think it's important for parents to
know what the school's plan is, what the teachers
plan is and then we can have our own plans
with kids two of whom, if something like this
happened, who would come pick you up, who
would you call? How would we get in contact
with each other? Just having some sort of a
plan and parents can reinforce what the school's plan is
and if they have drills at school to talk to
kids about what the steps are that they're supposed to
take. And it's so important for us to talk
to kids about how they're feeling, guaranteed they've heard
something about it. So to ask them what they
know already these age appropriate language and rather than just
dismissing their fears by saying don't worry about it or
I'm sure you'll be safe to talk to them about
their feelings and how do they take care of their
feelings whether that's but they draw a picture, they
write in a journal that they call somebody, a
friend that they are able to talk to you about
it. We want to make sure that we're validating
how they feel rather than just minimizing it and saying
don't worry about it. And we keep getting reminded
of this tragedy by social media. Just the bombardment
of information that it's coming all towards all of us
. If you cannot escape the news and what we're
listening to what is the best way to stay informed
but not feel overwhelmed. We know that just tuning
into news. Stories about it can raise our blood
pressure for a solid 20 minutes even after we stop
watching. So it's important make sure that you're mindful
about how much you're doing. If you're scrolling constantly
throughout the day or you're getting alerts on your phone
, you're gonna stay in a heightened state of alert
. So be mindful of that and take breaks even
if it's just a 20 minute break at a time
where you go do something else to take care of
yourself and then be mindful about what you're consuming right
now. You may have to go after some really
good news and be proactive about that. Whether you
watch funny videos or you look for something that's just
a little more positive so that you don't have to
feel bad too about always consuming the news. Or
sometimes people say I feel guilty doing anything that's not
news related but sitting back and just consuming news all
day long isn't necessarily gonna do you or anyone else
any good. Any other tips on how to deal
with traumatic incidents that we're seeing in our country.
Amy I think it's about honoring our emotions and if
you're really struggling to sleep, if you see changes
in appetite, whether it's you or your Children then
don't be afraid to seek out professional help. You
can always talk to your physician, you might call
a therapist called Community Mental Health Center Crisis Hotline and
say I'm struggling right now and get some support.
Amy Moran Editor in chief of Very well mind and
licensed psychotherapist. We really appreciate the advice here